Jean Urquhart

You might have seen George Robertson’s ridiculous doom-warning yesterday, that independence would be “cataclysmic” for the West and a boon for supposed “forces of darkness”. Here’s a brilliant and funny response from Thurso poet and playwright George Gunn:

Good Morning & Here Is The News

Good morning & here is the news
on the evening of 7th April 2014
former Labour politician George Robertson
(now Lord Naw Naw & self proclaimed prophet)
has reportedly experimented in public
with a new chemical element
recently discovered in the production
of apocalyptic scare-mongering
against the democratic process
in a small European country
of just over five million people

this element is called Pomposherous
its properties are that when it is exposed
to the cool air of reason
it becomes very unstable
& begins to smoke alarmingly
producing intense heat but strangely no light
& then eventually it combusts violently
emitting a hot gas
that is nauseous to the human senses
& fatal for most small mammals
if inhaled

last night former Labour politician George Robertson
was apprehended by authorities in New York City
for illicitly selling Pomposherous without a license
& for inciting public cataclysm

Lord Naw Naw this morning was unavailable for any serious comment